Protect Your Mental Health: How to Set Business Boundaries as a Female e-Commerce Owner

The following is a common story and lesson on the importance of setting business boundaries for eCommerce sellers.

Setting boundaries is essential for solopreneurs, especially female eCommerce owners. Learn why the "customer is always right" mindset can harm your business owner mental health and how to establish rules that protect your wellbeing and business from unreasonable demands.

— In This Article —

The Importance of Setting Business Boundaries

Do you know that old saying, "the customer is always right?" Well, I would like to say that is a complete fabrication, and if you run your solo business with that point of view, you will get into trouble fast.

🚦🛑 The Customer Is Not Always Right!

This is an important post about business boundaries and protecting our mental health as solopreneurs.

This is a reminder to everyone that WE are in control of our business, not our customers. We make the rules around communication, shipping dates, shipping rates, discounts, etc.

We can adjust as needed and offer excellent customer service, but threats and unreasonable behavior will not be tolerated.

Boundaries are a great thing. It is imperative you consider them in business to protect your mental health, avoid chronic stress, and maintain a healthy work-life balance.

Boundaries are a great thing. It is imperative you consider them in business to protect your mental health.

🚦🛑 Why I believe the customer is not always right!

A Personal Story About Business Boundaries

Here is the story that made me feel I needed to share this message.

I am an eCommerce store owner, in addition to being a business strategist and coach. This story is directly from my point of view as a solo trading online Shopify store owner.

I had someone order on Saturday afternoon. This customer then proceeded to send me three emails saying the mailing address was incorrect. I wrote her back three times on SATURDAY from my phone, saying I would update the address. One of those email responses bounced.

Then, the following morning (Sunday), I received a threatening email from her saying no one had responded to her and that if she didn’t receive an answer immediately, she would open a PayPal case.

Note that this is all over a $32 order, and the customer used a free shipping code!

So, I went ahead and canceled her order, and she is now blocked from ordering from my store.

Now, some might consider this harsh on my end, but I disagree. I’ve been in the online product-selling space for enough years now to know that early red flags just continue to grow into real problems. I needed to stop this from escalating early on.

The Importance of Protecting My Mental Health

I share this story not because I want to call out one difficult person. I process hundreds of orders a year and rarely run into this kind of behavior.

I do mention it because I think it is important for us, as small business owners, to set boundaries and expectations and not cater to what I consider an unreasonable customer.

Based on past experiences, I am quite confident that if I had kept her order, she still would have ended up either leaving a bad review or filing a chargeback. She has already cost me time, energy, and frustration, but now that I have taken back control of the situation, I feel much better, reducing anxiety and chronic stress.

I recommend you take a few minutes and write out your boundaries for customer communication and behavior. When it is time to declare that you are not a fit, simply decline the order.

Your future self and employees will thank you for having set these rules; now, you just need to follow them!

Why This Is So Important To Normalize

A few days after this incident, I shared this story in a private Facebook group of eCommerce entrepreneurs. It was one of the most commented-on posts I’ve seen in a long time. There were many stories of similar situations where the store owner had been scammed and felt a total lack of trust in the customer.

There were also many comments validating and acknowledging that I did the right thing and that they needed the reminder to set boundaries with unreasonable customers.

If this is a potential issue in your business, here are some steps I recommend you take today. It all starts by asking the following questions and making sure you have the answer (BOUNDARY) clearly defined both internally (to your team) and externally (to your customers) on your website policy pages, contact pages, and in emails.

Clear Communication Of The Rules Makes Everyone Happier

1. Revisit your Shipping & Returns Policy

Revisit your Shipping & Returns Policy. Below are the most common areas I see where stores haven’t set the rules, so arguments and difficult situations arise.

Do you have clear policies in place for lost or missing packages, damaged products, incorrect addresses, failed payments, customs fees, etc.?

Do you accept returns and exchanges on custom items? What is your return window? Do you cover return shipping, or does the customer?

Do you have clearly written restocking fees and policies?

2. Communication & Expectations

Set your rules and boundaries, and write them down! Share them with your staff.

What are the rules around stacking discount codes, extending sales, or customers asking for extras for free?

How long is your processing and shipping time? What are your holiday shipping deadlines?

Do you answer customers seven days a week, or can you set an auto-responder or disclaimer on your contact page for reasonable response times?

Work With An Expert

If all of this feels difficult or overwhelming, I recommend talking through it with a trusted business friend or hiring a strategy coach. In a one-hour coaching call, I can work with you to define your business boundaries, check that your messaging is clear to customers, and work through the emotional blocks that are often associated with setting business boundaries.

Written by Tina Bar

eCommerce Strategist and Mindset Coach

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